At Least I Don't

The moment is so locked into your brain that you can’t forget. If you sit by yourself for too long or dwell on it too much, your mind winds back. At this point, you have a storage locker of memories about this moment in particular. Usually the mental rewind happens in passing, having nothing to do with the conversation of the moment. You can’t seem to pinpoint anything about why these casual moments make you remember.

You were sitting in her room, discussing the different stresses of post-graduation. She pointed to her long history of anxiety. It made her more nervous than the others. How was she to deal with the pressure?

“At least I don’t have what you have.” No remorse in the comment. It hurt. You internally felt a pang that brought a roar to your eyes. They burned. They still do, even now. She was nervous for her future, but at least it wasn’t yours. Even in the moments of reflection, your eyes well up. You sit there writing, but so far, nobody has noticed.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Everything will fall into place for you.”